John Dies at the End

I've been waiting impatiently for over a year to see this movie. It finally came to Michigan during a limited showing last week and I was there for it's first screening!  If you're not familiar, which I assume may be the case, John Dies at the End was originally a book by Cracked.com writer David Wong.  Sort of.  You see, David Wong is a pseudonym the writer uses, and David Wong happens to be the protagonist of this story.  Confused?  Don't worry about it.

David and his buddy John come into contact with an otherworldly (literally) drug-like substance they call Soy Sauce.  The sauce makes them perceive things humans are not supposed to know about, things crossing over from other dimensions, things that wreak havoc, things that are horribly disgusting, things that often look like dongs.  The duo have to save the world from something the world doesn't even know is happening, and the only people who become aware usually go nuts and die.

JDatE is a great mixture of comedy and story, as you might expect from a Cracked writer.  It had a bit of a low budget and is reminiscent of old B horror movies, but it's got a great updated feel.  Instead of using CG for everything like other movies do nowadays, this movie uses a lot of props and puppets, which is awesome and should happen in all horror.

Meat monster here was great.

The main characters are played by some new faces, and did a remarkable job.  I wasn't sure about Chase Williamson's portrayal of Dave at first, but then I remember something important about Dave's character: In the book it is made very clear that if there is literally anything else in the world that Dave could be doing besides what he has to with John, he will.  If he could he would tour with Justin Bieber in London rather than save the world.  He doesn't give a damn, and Williamson pulls that off pretty well.  John on the other hand, thinks all of the craziness surrounding them kicks ass, and he wants to be on the front line with a dumb one-liner that somehow relates to balls (a lot of both the book and movie revolves around dick jokes).  The actor, who I will refer to as Eyebrows, does an excellent job of being part frat guy, part crazy badass.

Seriously.  His face is like 40% eyebrows.

The movie may not be perfect, nor for everyone, but I thought it was hilarious and a great throwback to better days of horror.  It was missing some fantastic scenes from the book, but I guess a Vegas theater full of people being massacred by giant spider meat monsters would have been pretty pricey to shoot.  The movie will be coming out on DVD soon, and there's still one more week of screenings I believe, so if you think you'd like it, I'd recommend taking a look.

I like you, Bark Lee, buy you're no Molly.